i live my life as if i might have to lip sync for it at any moment.

hi, i’m nicolas and i want to work for you.

my love of writing and design is second only to my love of la bouche.

i was a copywriter for 4 years in the payroll industry, which is about as boring as it sounds. currently, i manage web content for several websites and take up freelance web design projects in my spare time.

all of that has taught me some great skills:

  1. time management
  2. making complex topics digestible
  3. adapting to different brands
  4. writing for the web

let’s see, more about me…

when i was 21, i accidentally crashed my truck into a house. my parents said they couldn’t have been more disappointed in me, but then i graduated college with a degree in english.

my coworkers might say about me:

“he’s an obnoxious grammar nerd, but only when it counts.”

my college professors might say about me:

“he had so much promise.”

my strengths include:

  • knowing the appropriate time to leave someone’s gathering
  • understanding which golden girl i would be and why
  • folding a fitted sheet without help
  • throwing shade

what does that mean for you? i can read the room, im a critical thinker, i work well independently, and i have a sharp wit on a hair trigger.

among the myriad things i hate:

  • white nationalism
  • when people write supposedly quirky anecdotal things about themselves that begin: “i once…”
  • jeans and sandals combo
  • misogyny

you will never hate more things than i.

hire me.

View my resume